"If you love someone, you will do everything to please someone right?"

...That was a portion from the sermon shared 2 weeks ago by our Pastor that stood out to me.

Indeed, when you love someone, you will do everything to please him/ her, and be conscious that you do NOT anything that you know he/ she will not be pleased about.

In relationship, it is a skill that requires time and effort to develop, and without love, there will be no motivation/ passion to further at all.

Can you visualise a budding flower that eventually blooms and many (I guess mainly ladies) will go "Awww....so lovely!...."?

Here's the deduction. Relationship (for a couple)...

- once overcomes trials together
- goes through good times together and stand by each other in bad times
- spends quality time with each other (talking and enjoying each other's presence alone)
- makes effort to know and understand each other (be it strength or weakness)
- gain mutual trust
- gain mutual respect
- expresses love, affection, appreciation, affirmation and intimacy with each other freely

...WILL BE ONE THAT NO ONE CAN SEPARATE and WILL be like the flower that blooms beautifully.

How is that checklist to you? Which ones are we good at and which do we need to work at?

In a Christian relationship, unless God is the centre of each relationship, we will struggle in our human ways, thinking that handling matters in our own ways would work.

From experiences from myself and people I know, this is what I gather:-

If you think you can change your partner after marriage, the truth is, you can't.
If you think your ways works all the time, the truth is, think again.
If you think you can take control of everything, the truth is, you know you can't.

But one thing I know for sure, God can move mountains and transform lives, making us a better person to our spouse.

How do I know? Experience in Him today by surrendering your relationship to Him.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps 34:8a)

God bless.

Where is God when it hurts?...

2nd week of a new year, Monday...

Am spending time with my Father and using the Woman of Freedom material which I do with the young mummies group. We're now touching on laying aside bitterness and running with forgiveness (notice the former is humane and latter is God-given as a child of God?)

In one of the sharings, Lawrence O. Richards has this thought which I want to pen down here to remind ourselves the damaging effect when we hold on to bitterness and how it can strain our relationship/s with not only with another person but ultimately, with our loving Father too...

"Bitterness in the NT focuses on that angry and resentful state of mind that can develop when we undergo troubles...The writer [Hebrews] describes the hardships that come into our lives and speaks of them as God's discipline. They are a form of training that God in love has determined we need for our own good. Crushing experiences never seem pleasant at the time (INDEED THEY DO NOT!) They are painful (INDEED THEY ARE!) It is only later that we see their fruit in inner peace and righteousness. But an experience intended for our good can be twisted into bitterness. The writer points out that to profit as God intends, we must not surrender to hopelessness (WE MUST NOT, FRIENDS!) We must struggle, in God's holy way, to live at peace with all around us and not give way to bitterness...

The remedy for bitterness, then, is the appropriation of God's grace."

I give God all the glory when I struggled through much bitterness few years ago. It was a painful trial for me, and for sometime, I actually wondered why God was not delivering me through??? Reading this passage now made me realise that I MUST struggle...not in worldly ways, but in God's holy way, to pour out all to God, even to lament to just Him, to surrender, to cling on, to only rely on Him to overcome the bitterness (better still, do not even let bitterness fuel!!!).

How true that an experience meant to mould and refine us can be twisted into bitterness! But God is INDEED gracious, and I am thankful that I did not stop trusting Him even in my mustard seed faith...As the days unfold, He is so gentle. He send His angels along the way and pick up my broken pieces.

I am just so thankful to the BSF leader while I was still attending BSF in Bethel, who cried and prayed with me during those painful period, so thankful for some spiritual leaders and 2 special friends (one is in China already) who walked me through the storms of life, my darkest moments, a special mentor for bringing me into "God's refuge" to nurse my wounded heart and from there, led me to know 2 lovely mentors (one is back in US) and wonderful boss who is truly Christ-centred. Along the way, there are other God's angels who impart words of wisdom and words of comfort that I will always remember...

Been meaning to pen down my heartfelt thanks to the above angels, but I guess there's no better time than now, cos I see God's mighty hands at work throughout my life; His wonderful grace that envelopes me; His loving nature that never fails to remind me "I will never leave nor forsake you Jo...I will never let the righteous fall...Call upon the name of the Lord and be saved...I love you Jo"...those were His words that pull me through my life crisis...

Now, I experience the fruit of inner peace and righteousness as Lawrence has rightfully put. I wanna apologise to those whom may have thought that I am a "changed person/ cold person/ walking zombie" during those trial period. I admit I did look awful (ugly) during those times, both inside and out...urgh...if I may just say, that's not who I really am...lol...

Very often, we have the tendency to blame people or circumstances that made us "ugly", but beware! That we do not twist the experience that God has intended for our good. How would we know if it is from God? Continually seek the Lord, inquire of the Lord and He will reveal to you, every step of the way, remember, God is a very systematic person (from Moses and Noah stories, you will be know).

Boy, I can go on writing and writing...but I had much work to attend to! lol.

In a nutshell: So where is God when it hurts? It's right here, in you "Remain in me and I will remain in you"..saith the Lord.

This hymm song comes to my mind, be encouraged, be blessed, my dear friends.

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.